One thing you can always count on to be reminded of is that life is constantly changing. That is part of why it is so crucial that we learn to live in the present. Each moment is uniquely its own and we will never experience that moment again.
We never know what will happen in the future, and we are not really meant to. But this is a difficult reality to accept, no matter how obvious. On a consistent basis, I have been struggling to really surrender to the present and not worry about the future. This anxiety about my future well-being often hinders my ability to actually achieve what I want in life. Not just because I am giving up my will to be happy in the present moment, but also because I am clouding my judgement regarding the future.
I begin to think to myself how unfair it is that, in life, as we know it today, one cannot avoid their life situation. By this I mean, if we don’t live with the future in mind, we will be lost. If we’ve been dealt a set of cards, we have to learn how to play. As my mind starts to wander, I begin asking questions that may never be answered. But usually the answer is, because life is complicated. For no reason in particular. It just is.
Having a vision is part of survival. If I want my visions to become reality someday, there must be direction, and thus, a plan of sorts. Especially because “you can’t buy the necessities of life with cookies.” (Accurately stated in Edward Scissorhands.) In one sense I am inspired, motivated, excited and empowered to discover what my intentions will create. Yet, I feel so vulnerable, anxious, and doubtful that I will not be able to master the balance needed to reach my goals.
Life keeps knocking on my door, telling me what I have to be responsible for. I know that having responsibilities, no matter what they are, help create better people. But simultaneously, they can damage us. Humans are so powerful, yet so fragile. Our potential is limitless, but I feel that we are torturing ourselves. I believe that people, collectively, have not learned how to deal with the world we’ve created.
The perils I am experiencing throughout this transitional period of my life have burst into my life like a cramps during a marathon. Inevitable and painful. The cramp alleviates itself and I breathe a sweet sigh of relief. I learn to appreciate what feeling good, or even just free of pain, feels like. But when the next cramp comes, because it always does, I can tell myself I’ll get through it, because I’ve gotten through others. But I can’t know for sure.
I suppose the moral of the story is this – as humans, we must look inside ourselves to power through these “cramps” in the marathon of life. We have to lift ourselves up. We have to manage our individual strengths and weaknesses. We should celebrate milestone victories. If we find we have fallen, we may just need to rejuvenate. We can seek support along the way. But in the end, our intention and belief in ourselves are what bring us to the finish line.
Blogging about such things has made me come to conclusions I wasn’t expecting to find…
Life, as seen by me. 